Showing posts with label RIGHTS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RIGHTS. Show all posts
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
I'm relieved over the spilt milk
MY STORY
NT is my PhD advisor. And DM is my partner in research cum colleague cum office roomate cum a too friendly friend from China.
MY FEARS
Harassment is a serious offence. Especially if it knows no end.
MY APPROACH
I've talked in person with NT. She's clearly concerned with what happened to me for the past 11months. And she asked a lot of questions. She said that she would handle the problem, but she needs a little bit more time to figure things out. I talked to her in detailed how every incident happened. She's now informed why I dont work in the office, and why I am always working alone.
HER CONCERNS
She explains her respect for cultural values. And she asked me not to give up my own culture in order to blend in with the rest of the world. Having cultural differences is one of the values needed in a multicultural society, this I was reminded of.
Evidently, she is not satisfied with DM's progress at all. She felt that he's immatured, non-competent and lost. He doesnt seem to know what is going on around him and he is one against the whole world. She agreed that I have been babysitting him all the way and she's very upset about it. She had previously sent an email to him, complaining about him not being able to produce anything to her effectively. This is not my concern at all. Im not the right person to judge him.
However, she brought up another aspect that clearly is not agreeable to me. She said that DM maybe so immatured and lost, he might not be aware he had done wrong or not realizing how fragile woman are. I defended by bringing up the pool incident last year. She was shocked jaw drop. Then, all her defenses for DM collapsed.
HER SOLUTION
NT had asked for me to be transferred to another office, if that's agreeable to me. I gladly accepted the offer. She advised me to speak up loudly and clearly and not being afraid to hurt his feelings. And she hoped that I can voice out more to her, and she's concerned [I'm not sure how much though..] with the amount of things I am keeping to myself.
MY FEELINGS
I am suddenly overwhelmed with how things changed overnight. Not knowing what to feel, I had mixed feelings of joy, confusion, anger, betrayal, sympathy, satisfaction and relieved...
MY HOPES
But one thing Im sure of, I've become more determined in succeeding my PhD.
I might have carried on too much of responsibilities in me. Struggling hard to persist all way through. And over-achieved the impossibles. I have not know those abilities are actually mine. Im glad, I acted on instincts. Im glad, Im my father's daughter.
Because I am the fighter.
I hope I am still sane.
NT is my PhD advisor. And DM is my partner in research cum colleague cum office roomate cum a too friendly friend from China.
MY FEARS
Harassment is a serious offence. Especially if it knows no end.
MY APPROACH
I've talked in person with NT. She's clearly concerned with what happened to me for the past 11months. And she asked a lot of questions. She said that she would handle the problem, but she needs a little bit more time to figure things out. I talked to her in detailed how every incident happened. She's now informed why I dont work in the office, and why I am always working alone.
HER CONCERNS
She explains her respect for cultural values. And she asked me not to give up my own culture in order to blend in with the rest of the world. Having cultural differences is one of the values needed in a multicultural society, this I was reminded of.
Evidently, she is not satisfied with DM's progress at all. She felt that he's immatured, non-competent and lost. He doesnt seem to know what is going on around him and he is one against the whole world. She agreed that I have been babysitting him all the way and she's very upset about it. She had previously sent an email to him, complaining about him not being able to produce anything to her effectively. This is not my concern at all. Im not the right person to judge him.
However, she brought up another aspect that clearly is not agreeable to me. She said that DM maybe so immatured and lost, he might not be aware he had done wrong or not realizing how fragile woman are. I defended by bringing up the pool incident last year. She was shocked jaw drop. Then, all her defenses for DM collapsed.
HER SOLUTION
NT had asked for me to be transferred to another office, if that's agreeable to me. I gladly accepted the offer. She advised me to speak up loudly and clearly and not being afraid to hurt his feelings. And she hoped that I can voice out more to her, and she's concerned [I'm not sure how much though..] with the amount of things I am keeping to myself.
MY FEELINGS
I am suddenly overwhelmed with how things changed overnight. Not knowing what to feel, I had mixed feelings of joy, confusion, anger, betrayal, sympathy, satisfaction and relieved...
MY HOPES
But one thing Im sure of, I've become more determined in succeeding my PhD.
I might have carried on too much of responsibilities in me. Struggling hard to persist all way through. And over-achieved the impossibles. I have not know those abilities are actually mine. Im glad, I acted on instincts. Im glad, Im my father's daughter.
Because I am the fighter.
I hope I am still sane.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
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