I tried really hard to let bygones be bygones. But, when reality hits, you will have to face it. I don't know how long I took to write this up, but as far as I had remembered, I had been sitting there all the time....
Da Lian was bitten to death by stray dogs in front of my home. It happened yesterday. The dogs came from nowhere and started chasing Da Lian. She was already scrambling on her tiny paws into my front gate when the dog grab the back of her trunk and pulled her back.
The dog sank his teeth into her neck and scooped my 7month old kitten away. The mongrels carried her across a few streets until when they finally let her lifeless body to rest...
My mum and I buried her today. The effort to conceal the pain consume such a huge chunk of myself that I can barely move on with it. Shi Shi stood by Da Lian's body awaiting the burial ground. Shi Shi grew up together with Da Lian and went trough almost everything side by side. Looking at the freshly dug grave, my memory went back to times when Da Lian was still here, alive. I think Da Lian took away a part of myself with her as well. I did not realize how I finally did it, but I managed to put her in together with the flowers I picked from my garden. Shi Shi just stood by her until she was laid to rest.
I tried so hard to carve the word, 'ACCIDENT' into my head. I dearly wish that this did not happen to me. Not me, and not on my innocent cats. There was nothing left to blame, but on grieve itself. I find this so distressful.
When I finally sat down and my howling turned to regular sobbing, I realize that God made His plans worked on me. So that I can grieve for my beloved companion and appreciate her existence in my life. So that I can make sure history never repeats itself. So that I have a chance to build a bigger heart to forgive the strays for their ruthless behaviour. So that every animal in this world deserve fair judgement. So that I have a story to tell about the magnificent cat I once owned.
And now, 'If only' can never compensates my loss anymore...
-In Loving Memory of Da Lian,
the ginger cutie-
Da Lian was bitten to death by stray dogs in front of my home. It happened yesterday. The dogs came from nowhere and started chasing Da Lian. She was already scrambling on her tiny paws into my front gate when the dog grab the back of her trunk and pulled her back.
The dog sank his teeth into her neck and scooped my 7month old kitten away. The mongrels carried her across a few streets until when they finally let her lifeless body to rest...
My mum and I buried her today. The effort to conceal the pain consume such a huge chunk of myself that I can barely move on with it. Shi Shi stood by Da Lian's body awaiting the burial ground. Shi Shi grew up together with Da Lian and went trough almost everything side by side. Looking at the freshly dug grave, my memory went back to times when Da Lian was still here, alive. I think Da Lian took away a part of myself with her as well. I did not realize how I finally did it, but I managed to put her in together with the flowers I picked from my garden. Shi Shi just stood by her until she was laid to rest.
I tried so hard to carve the word, 'ACCIDENT' into my head. I dearly wish that this did not happen to me. Not me, and not on my innocent cats. There was nothing left to blame, but on grieve itself. I find this so distressful.
When I finally sat down and my howling turned to regular sobbing, I realize that God made His plans worked on me. So that I can grieve for my beloved companion and appreciate her existence in my life. So that I can make sure history never repeats itself. So that I have a chance to build a bigger heart to forgive the strays for their ruthless behaviour. So that every animal in this world deserve fair judgement. So that I have a story to tell about the magnificent cat I once owned.
And now, 'If only' can never compensates my loss anymore...
-In Loving Memory of Da Lian,
the ginger cutie-
Did u try to save her?
ReplyDeletemy mum rushed her to the clinic... but she was already not responding when presented...
ReplyDelete